How to Have More Happiness and Peace in Midlife
Blog post by Heidi Gustafson
Mindset & Transformation Coach
Mastering Midlife with Heidi is dedicated to helping middle-aged women live their lives with confidence and joy, instead of merely surviving.
Life has a tricky way of sneaking up on us.
One minute, we’re young and full of dreams, and the next moment, we’re in our middle years, caught up in our routines, thinking “this is as good as it gets.”
But it doesn’t have to be this way. You CAN create whatever you want in your life at whatever age!
First, let’s start with some things we do unconsciously that become barriers to feeling peaceful or happy.
They are behaviors that we’ve developed over the years as protection or coping mechanisms, things that help us feel safe or keep us in our comfort zone. Again, most of the time they’re unconscious… they’re automatic. We don’t even realize we’re doing them, but they are thieves of peace and happiness.
“Happiness, true happiness, is an inner quality. It’s a state of mind. If your mind is at peace, you are happy. If your mind is at peace, but you have nothing else, you can be happy. If you have everything the world can give - pleasure, possessions, power - but lack peace of mind, you can never be happy.”
The first step is putting them in your conscious awareness.
When you become aware that you’re doing something that is depleting your peace and happiness, that’s where the real power to change lies.
Carl Jung said: “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
Make a list of what’s stealing your happiness and inner peace and examine what you need to do to stop that energy leak. Do you procrastinate? Say ‘yes’ too much? Overthink? Compare? Judge? Do you have clutter or spend too much time on social media? What steps can you take to eliminate or reduce these habits and energy leaks…these barriers to your peace and happiness?
I love reverse engineering things, so what do you need in your life to feel more happy and peaceful without waiting for anything or anyone in your external world to change? This will be different for everyone.
The important thing is to figure out what brings YOU inner peace and happiness.
Here are some suggestions:
#1 is Gratitude
Gratitude is the easiest state to reach when you’re upset. You can’t be unhappy and grateful at the same time. It’s as simple as flipping the script. When you feel yourself with some inner turmoil, CHOOSE to think of something you’re grateful for.
If you struggle to find something in the moment, I invite you to start a gratitude journal. Make it super simple. Write each morning or each night, three things you’re thankful for that happened that day or recently. They can be simple things such as a conversation with a friend or a treat you had.
By doing this, you’ll:
Have a collection of gratitude that you can revisit.
Train your brain to notice things you can be grateful for.
Make being grateful a habit.
#2 is Connection
We feel happiest when we are connected with ourselves and one another in an enriched way… when we are living into our potential and making positive impacts in our lives. Every little positive change you make in your life has a ripple effect to not only the people around you but all around the world. We are all energy and our energy is felt in places we can’t even imagine.
Brene Brown says “In the absence of love and belonging, there’s always suffering.”
So figure out how to get connected.
Have you ever thought, “I haven't talked to so and so for awhile… and then they call or text you?” THAT’S how strong your energy is. If you’ve been feeling disconnected, figure out ways to reconnect with yourself and others.
#3 is Examine the Lens You See the World Through
If you notice you're viewing circumstances in your life as threats or with fear instead of as challenges or lessons, this is impacting your happiness and peace on a daily basis.
Many times we have blocks or BS (also known as blind spots) that keep us from seeing a different perspective.
If you’re not getting what you want in your life, it’s because something is blocking you from getting it.
Coaching can be a valuable resource as blind spots typically have to be spotted by an outside person. That’s why they’re called blind spots.
So if you aren’t getting what you want, reach out to someone (like me) who can help you with your blocks. Otherwise, you will continue to live by default with your unconscious blocks running the show, and you’ll call it fate. You’ll think that this is as good as it gets.
I say you have a choice: You can make a decision to change and create something different in your life.
want to learn more? tune in to the podcast ⤵
Are you ready for midlife to be full of happiness and self love?
Schedule a FREE call with a coach dedicated to empowering women just like you! Get the answers and tools you need for a better life.